Encouraging Your Child to Be More Independent

Independence is a core skill that your child will develop as they grow older. They have the opportunity to develop their skills in communication, making key decisions and growing in the way they know best through being independent and aware of their own knowledge. In order to help your child learn to think, for themselves and embrace their individuality, here are some top tips.

Make things obvious

Declare when something is going to be in your child’s control. For example, when your child is trying out a new task, amplify your voice. Say something like “it’s time to do some big kid things!” then let them take charge of a particular task. Make them feel like they are in charge of what’s to come, and have fun with it along the way.

Don’t bring your child down

It’s also worth noting that your child shouldn’t feel pressured to do things because you are forcing them to. This kind of behaviour will show that your child is not going to be motivated to pick up anything, which can impact their approach to future challenges. Your child is still learning and so they will need to have a bit of extra time in what they’re picking up on a regular basis. 

 

Try not to refer to them as a baby, either, or demean them because they are younger. They won’t feel any more willing to develop their skills this way and it can cause issues between you and your child. The experience should feel fun and rewarding!

Let your child head to school by themselves

A small but meaningful step will be to let your child head out and walk to school on their own, or head on the bus, depending on how they have to get to school. This doesn’t mean you will be letting them go out alone and ready to fend for themselves; it can be with their friends or their brother or sister as well. 

 

This will often depend on how easy it is for your child to get to school. If your child is heading to a prep school in London every morning then it’s going to be much easier for them to head out on their own, but it could be an overwhelming experience at first. Similarly, if you’re out in the countryside, a car ride is the only way they will get to school. But you can incorporate independence in other ways, like letting your child carpool with a friend a few days a week.

Stop micromanaging your child

In the morning if you’re there tying up your kid’s shoelaces and brushing their hair, laying out their uniform and getting their breakfast sorted then your child isn’t having the opportunity to learn for themselves. Cut back on micromanaging every part of their day. If that means having to get your child up a little earlier each morning to get them to complete their tasks on time then so be it. Over time they can learn to speed up these parts of the process.

Praise your child’s effort

Doing well in certain activities helps your child learn to appreciate what they’re picking up on a regular basis. This helps your child learn that being the best at their goals is not what they should always be aiming for. It’s about the effort your child puts in each week, and it helps your child learn to take on other responsibilities while learning through the mistakes they make. Having those opportunities will ensure that your child is heading in the right direction with their studies, and also helps them strive for a good result.